This Sorting Hat has seen things. Torn between Buckeye pride and Wolverine fury, it’s stitched together like a magical identity crisis. One side screams “O-H!” while the other growls “Go Blue!”—and the hat just sits there, judging you for dating across enemy lines. Perfect for fans who live in divided households, or for anyone who thinks Hogwarts needs a Big Ten expansion.
It doesn’t sort by bravery or cunning—it sorts by tailgate snacks and passive-aggressive game day texts.
